Pop a la Mode

I bought a bicycle. I don’t know what I was thinking.

I am not the most graceful person in the world when it comes to operating small mechanical machines. I once ran the riding lawnmower into the wrought iron bench in the mulched part of the yard. A part of the yard I wasn’t even supposed to be in. Another time I ran a go-cart into a tree and tore my jeans at the knee. I still have the scar. And I loved those jeans.

So needless to say, I’m not the best when it comes to steering things. Which maybe makes my dad’s fears about my driving valid.

But the bike came and Max and I put it together. It’s a lovely peacock blue, 10 speeds and hand brakes. Max finally got everything adjusted, the seat the proper height and after a few false starts, away I went.

I had a stopping issue. I kept forgetting the brakes were at my hands. One time I almost took Max out in an area of a the body that many men really would like to keep intact if you get my drift.

So when I finally think I’m getting the hang of it, I had a brain freeze. I’m headed straight toward the curb in the parking lot and I can’t think to turn or to brake so I ram right into it, fly over the handlebars and land on the grass in a nice tuck and roll.

I’m laughing hysterically at this point and Max thinks I’m the most klutzy person in the world. And don’t you know, I already punctured the tube on the front tire. Just my luck, turn one and I hit the wall.

Oh well I guess I’ll just keep practicing and if not, I may cut my losses at a yard sale. Because at 30, I’m not so indestructible anymore. All I need is a broken bone.

So I’m in over my head but I’m determined to do this. I rode a bike once, I can do it again. And maybe I should have read the instruction book first. From the Bicycle Owner’s Manual:

Your Maiden Voyage: When you buckle on your helmet (which I didn’t have) and go for your first familiarization ride on your new bicycle, be sure to pick a controlled environment; away from cars, other cyclists, obstacles or other hazards. (I assume that means curbs too.) Familiarize yourself with the braking action of the bicycle. (Duh.)

Next time. There’s always next time.

So I’ve started a new exercise routine. I was getting bored with the gym and felt like I need to change some things.

So I purchased a DVD set entitled “The New York City Ballet Workout.” I took dance back in the day and used to be not so bad at it. So I’m thinking, this shouldn’t be too bad.

I was really wrong.

Within the first two minutes of stretching I broke a sweat. Not a good sign. I stretched and moved muscles that I had forgotten even existed. And the NY Ballet is big on your core - everything is in your core. When your core is strong, you’re strong. Well evidently I’m a spineless wimp because after 10 abdominal exercises I really thought I was stuck in a crunch.

And the next morning, not even pretty. I actually had to scoot down to the end of my bed and ease onto my cedar chest so I could stand up. So sad.

So now I workout in the morning and it’s not so bad. Yeah I’m still sore but limber I’m not. I never did a split when I was 10 and I highly doubt that’s going to happen when I’m 30.

I am determined to lose some weight and soon. I know - what else is new? The working out thing is still going on but nothing is happening. So I figure I need to make some adjustments. Thankfully I have a friend that used to be a personal trainer and she is going to help me out. I need accountability.

First change is to keep a food diary so that I can track exactly what I am eating. Annette wants to see what we can change in my diet. She doesn’t necessarily want to tell me the exact food to eat but more the parameters to keep in mind when I’m planning my meals or out.

It’s sobering writing down everything you eat and drink. It makes you think twice before picking up that doughnut (which I didn’t eat).

Second I am going to do some sort of aerobic exercise for 30 minutes every day. The spinning thing is good but Annette told me that sometimes you can work out too hard and it becomes anaerobic activity. So I am going to walk on the treadmill every day for 30 minutes at an incline.

Hopefully all of this will jump start my slow metabolism and start making me feel like I’m working out for a reason!

I’m headed back to spinning class tonight. After the failed attempt at running, I’ve resigned myself to this fate. It’s really not that bad - it’s the best workout I’ve found.

In the link above it lists this under disadvantages: participants complain of sore buttocks after the first few classes. This will subside after frequent participation.

Heh. I couldn’t have put it better myself.

I still don’t run.

I am the first to admit when I fail at something, and running will now rank at the top of my disasters. Between the pain in my ankle, the pain in my knee and the pain in my lungs - it is not enjoyable. Of course Rhodes suggested that everytime I get a pain that I go get a shot of cortisone. I don’t think so.

So I’m going back to what I know best - spinning. There is a different kind of pain associated with that - the kind that makes me think that I’m actually working out, not further injuring myself.

I gave it the old college try. I’ll just stick to dreaming about it.

Eavesdropping over instant messenger:

Me: I have a recommendation - can we do week one again? I’m not sure we ran enough last week to be at week two.

Rhodes: There’s no turning back now!

Me: Nooo - I’m not trying to be lazy. I don’t think we’re ready.

Rhodes: Why?

Me: Okay fine, maybe I’m lazy but we’re supposed to run two full laps tonight. I’ll die.

Rhodes: No you can do this - just have faith in the program. If it says you can do it, then you can!

Me: Oh I have faith in the program but not in my lungs.

To be continued….