Pop a la Mode

I forgot my watch this morning.

This may not seem like such a big deal to some people but I feel completely naked without one. Even in high school, I always wore a watch.

I keep looking down at my arm and nothing’s there. That’s really disconcerting. Especially when you’re as neurotic as I am about being on time. I get that from Dad. He and I are usually early, always on time and never late. At least I get that neurosis honest.

But still, I wonder what that says about me - that I have so much trouble functioning without my watch. Am I a slave to time? Am I bound by restrictions?

It’s getting deep in here. I better stop. I think I just miss my watch.

Joe Paterno is one of those college football coaches that just seems to go on forever. He even broke his leg on the sideline last year and coached from the press box.

But my favorite thing about the Penn State coach may be this story I found today. Some of his football players got in trouble because of a fight. He was so disappointed in them that he will be making them clean up the Nittany Lions football stadium after every home game this season.

Bravo Joe! You rock!

Ever since I have worked at my office, Friday morning is doughnut day. It’s a nice treat and the vultures around here descend upon them like they won’t eat the rest of the day. It’s a scary sight to watch.

This week, I was asked to pick up five dozen (!) doughnuts at Krispy Kreme. I live a little more than a mile away from a Krispy Kreme and I try my darndest to forget about it 360 days of the year. The other five days I like to treat myself to a special Hot! Fresh! Now! treat.

I don’t mind making the run every now and then but between Wednesday afternoon when I was asked and Thursday 5:00, I was asked by no less than seven people if I remembered I was getting doughnuts on Friday.

Are you kidding me? I have projects for multi-billion dollar clients that I’m left completely alone on but yet, when my turn comes to pick up the Friday munchies, everyone and their brother is concerned about my performance.

I’m glad everyone has their priorities straight.

I knew I smelled smoke this morning.

Over the weekend, Robyn kept telling me she smelled smoke and we thought maybe the neighbors had burned something cooking or the white trash next door were smoking more heavily than usual. But it makes sense that those wildfires in Georgia and Florida would be sending smoke our way.

Last night I had smoke coming out of my ears. I took neighbor Susan and Ms. Florence computer shopping at Best Buy. Have you ever tried to explain RAM and megabytes to people that don’t even know how to turn a computer on?

Ms. Florence kept asking - what’s the difference between this computer and this computer? They look the same. Well, Ms. Florence one runs faster than the other one. Run? Where does it run? It doesn’t run anywhere - I mean the speed at which it processes information. But I don’t process information that fast, my computer doesn’t need to go fast either.

Sigh.

So Susan finally decided on one that she will pick up tonight and Ms. Florence said she was going to go back today because she forgot her checkbook. So our very nice salesguy wrote everything down for her so all she has to do is hand it to someone today. I’m not entirely convinced that she is going to go through with it. We’ll see. I told her if she buys one today, I would set it up for her tonight.

I’m sort of hoping she decides not to do it. She calls the “icons” on the screen “hieroglyphics” so teaching her to use it will most certainly be a challenge.

I don’t always get to spend Mother’s Day with my mom. That happens when you live 500 miles away from each other. We’re okay with that. Mother’s Day is kind of a hallmark holiday to me anyways - I appreciate my mom everyday.

This year is a little bit different. My mom is in Cambodia. I know! A little random and a half a world away. She is on a mission trip with my home church and I’m very proud of her for going. She sent an e-mail after they arrived saying that was the longest night she’s ever had - over 18 hours. I can’t imagine.

So this Mother’s Day, I’m spending it with D., Corrie, Isaiah and my dad who is down visiting for the weekend. Not exactly normal but just fine.

I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but I have become the resident geek of Cabana Condominiums.

If any of the geriatrics have a problem with their television, VCR, telephone, stereo or computer - I get the call.

Not that I have had any training in how to fix these things. I guess because I’m the youngest person around they figure that I must know what I am doing. I’m no expert by any means but I will play around with something until I figure out what’s wrong. I can’t break it any worse than it already is.

If a TV is on the blink, I fiddle around with the cable inputs and usually that helps.

If a phone isn’t working, I choose a new channel for the frequency and usually that helps.

If a stereo isn’t working, I shake it to hear if any CDs are jammed in there. Then I end up taking the back off the console and coaxing it out.

But computers - ah computers. All the elderly love to ask me their computer questions. Why won’t my keyboard work? Why is my Internet not working? Why did my screen change colors? All of this can usually be tracked back to a loose cable. And when I ask why it’s loose, they don’t know. Maybe it happened when they pulled on it too hard. Because they wanted to vacuum under it.

Hmmm. Maybe.

There’s this only lady in the complex that has to be pushing 85 and she wants to buy a computer. A laptop no less because she travels a lot you know.

I asked her, Ms. Florence, what on earth do you want a computer for? She said, and I quote, “Because I like that Charlie Rose fella and I want to listen to him whenever I want.”

Well okay then. I guess that’s a good enough reason.